1. |
The Booga Laser Beam
01:21
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THE BOOGA LASER BEAM
(Lyrics by Porter Copyright 2021)
I had a most delightful dream
The frogs were red and the bog was green
A Nissan buffed up to a sheen
Eyelash smiles like Ben Vereen
So exciting
So enlightening
So delighting me
I saw a most distasteful thing
Bill Murray performing in a toilet orgy scene
So frightening
So frightening
So frightening
Times three
Then I woke up from a horrible dream
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2. |
San Antonio
00:55
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SAN ANTONIO
(Lyrics by Porter Copyright 2021)
It’s been a long day and I wish I was home
It’s been a long day and I wish I was home
All I have to show for it is a slim volume of poems
All I have to show for it is too-big calzones
I feel like I’m being followed around by drones
I’m in San Antonio and I wish I was home
WOO
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3. |
The Other Side
05:09
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THE OTHER SIDE
(Lyrics by Porter Copyright 2021)
All the best fighters have four eyes
And speak in amped, bloodcurdling cries
At all the liars who stand in line
On the other side
They do everything we don’t like
They dot the I’s in Victimized
They’re all wrong and that’s our right
The other side
So stand up and be counted
Are you on Ours’ or the Other Side?
So stand up and be counted
We hate everyone on the other side
The Other Side
Fly a banner, raise a sign
Misunderstood and much maligned
We wanna do what we want all the time
The Other Side
We’re inclined to think alike
And We’ve decided, so be advised
That you are wrong, and that’s our right
The Other Side
So stand up and be counted
Are you on Ours’ or the Other Side?
So stand up and be counted
We hate everyone on the other side
The Other Side
(Man co-existed with dinosaurs!
Uh-oh, white woman calling the police!
It’s not rocket surgery, ladies and gentlemen!
Murder Patrol!
Quack Quack Quack!
Etc.)
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4. |
Everybody's Lonely
03:20
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EVERYBODY’S LONELY
(Lyrics by Porter Copyright 2021)
(Icicle!)
Meatball Fellini up on the screen
He always treats his sweet pea so horrible and mean
She winds up crying on the side of a road
Stylistically stripped of an area code
Dead inside
Dead inside
Everybody’s lonely
And we all eat Pasta-Roni
Everybody winds up so dead inside
Everybody’s lonely
And we all eat Pasta-Roni
Ain’t it sad to wind up so dead inside?
Sitting across from the ALICO
The only thing survived ’53 Waco
83 half-silent miles
Every highway line’s 53 turnstiles
Dead inside
Dead inside
Everybody’s lonely
And we all eat Pasta-Roni
Everybody winds up so dead inside
Everybody’s lonely
And we all eat Pasta-Roni
Ain’t it sad to wind up so dead inside?
I don’t want to have a child
Better off to keep the picante mild
A screaming baby in a Wal-Mart Tee
Reminds me much too much of me
Dead inside
Dead inside
Everybody’s lonely
And we all eat Pasta-Roni
Everybody winds up so dead inside
Everybody’s lonely
And we all eat Pasta-Roni
Ain’t it sad to wind up so dead inside?
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5. |
Lumpfish
04:00
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LUMPFISH
(Lyrics by Porter Copyright 2021)
Give the patent to the merchant
Give the merchant to the patent
Stockfish
Lumpfish
Fresh lumpfish
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6. |
Middlemost Lot
01:55
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MIDDLEMOST LOT
(Lyrics by Porter Copyright 2021)
Must be by my first eye I meet someone
Must be by my first time I meet someone
Then I’m putting you out in the middlemost lot
Putting you down in just the right spot
Sitting on the seat where the swing got swung
Sitting on the sheet where the in went up
Then I’m putting you out in the middlemost lot
Putting you down in just the right spot
Putting you down in your petticoat
Face coming out of a face
Face coming out of a phone
Face coming out of the floor
I move you around in the middlemost lot
I move you around in just the right spot
I move you around
Swinging on the seat in your sweet home-spun
Singing on the seed where your feet went up
Then I’m putting you out in the middlemost lot
Putting you out in just the right spot
Seagull overseas where the sand swept up
Standing on the breeze where the plip goes plup
Then I’m putting you out in the middlemost lot
Putting you out in just the right spot
Putting you out in your petticoat
Face coming out of a face
Face coming out of a phone
Face coming out of the floor
I move you around in the middlemost lot
I move you around in just the right spot
I move you around
Must be by my first eye I meet someone
Must be by my first time I meet someone
Then I’m putting you out in the middlemost lot
Putting you down in just the right spot
Putting you out in your little red towel
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7. |
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MOKIE POKIE SWEETNESS PIE
(Lyrics by Porter Copyright 2021)
I remember when I saw her
In the winter Texas PetSmart
Behind the glass was
Mokie Pokie Sweetness Pie
Her owner was allergic
And had just left her behind
I was hers and she was mine
My Pokie Sweetness Pie
When I’m feeling down
I look into her wonky eyes
One of her eyes is blind from birth
So her eyes are just like mine
She’s plopping in her aerie
And her paws are like blueberries
I love my little Mokie Pokie Sweetness Pie
I’m sitting ‘round with Mokie
Reading dumbass Don Quixote
She’s the knight and I’m the squire
My Pokie Sweetness Pie
She likes to eat cockroaches
And the common housefly
She sits on the PlayStation
Pokie Sweetness Pie
When I’m feeling sad
I look into her wonky eyes
One of her eyes is blind from birth
So her eyes are just like mine
Catnip in her aerie
And she shows off her blueberries
I love my little Mokie Pokie Sweetness Pie
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8. |
Stenerud
03:22
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9. |
Rootin' For Ya
04:18
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ROOTIN’ FOR YA
(Lyrics by Porter Copyright 2021)
I’m rooting for ya to not get tired of me
I know that there are other fish in the sea
But I’m rooting for ya to not get tired of me
(Baby, baby don’t you leave, etc.)
Did no harm
Like Jake from State Farm,
America
Laid in bed
Like Right Said Fred,
America
I’m rooting for ya to keep being my wife
The ring on my finger, I mean it for the rest of my life
It would mean even more if you continue to be my wife
(Baby, baby don’t you leave, etc.)
Stacks of bills
And Outback Grills,
America
Trump’s the Prez
Permanent rez,
America
Do I come with the house?
You’re the only person I like
Your new red dresses are nice
They’d be even nicer if you keep being my wife
(Baby, baby don’t you leave, etc.)
Wearing my mask
Staying on task,
America
Inside Whirl
Outside world
America
Do I come with the house?
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10. |
Marriage On The Roxx
03:01
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MARRIAGE ON THE ROXX
(Lyrics by Porter Copyright 2021)
Marriage on the roxx
Smell my dirty socks
Trading tits for tots
Snoring on the couch
While you’re a morning grouch
Will you still love me
When I’m 43?
Will you even still be with me?
Marriage on the roxx
Bears and Goldilocks
Comparing cunts and cocks
Have a marriage walk
Have a marriage talk
Write it out in chalk
This ain’t my first time out to sea
And you’re already a divorcée
And will I be one at 43?
I got a marriage on the roxx
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11. |
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YOU AND YOUR MANGO PERFUME
(Lyrics by Porter Copyright 2021)
I see all these boxes around
Who are they filled for?
Who are they to?
I sit down on the couch
It starts to quiver
Like a tractor
What else do you want me to say?
And how many times a day?
How can I convince you
That I think you
Are pretty?
You’re pretty
(!)
I know I can’t write
Love songs like I used to
But now love is more useful
Then I see all these boxes around
Filled with perfume
Mailed to you
What else do you want me to say?
A thousand times a day
And will I ever convince you
That I think you
Are pretty?
You’re pretty
You’re pretty
You’re pretty
(!)
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12. |
||||
DOWN TO DEKALB (WAITS’ BARRETTES)
(Lyrics by Porter Copyright 2021)
I’m driving down to DeKalb!
Dragon face on a rag-a-zine mag
McMuffin early for a Big Mac
I’m driving down to DeKalb!
Front/back ear swab, “Matter o’ Fakk”
80,000 trillion dollars; 55 local trollops
Doin’ up a few hairs
Whack you off in the bath
Calculator math
These light bulbs break
(Lite bulbs break)
Order-in steak
I got a garden rake
I’m driving down to DeKalb
Wife won’t make dinner
She sits and thinks
Thinks about what
Thinks about what?
About being on TV
She’s writing a script
She’s driving down to DeKalb
Crank the fuckin’ breaks
Go home to town
You died full of cities around on your brain
Now you’re driving down to DeKalb
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13. |
Nothing Works
04:08
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NOTHING WORKS
(Lyrics by Porter Copyright 2021)
Booming chords
Struck and sustained
Things get stuck
When you stick stuff down the drain
I just think of anything as everything
I just think of everything as anyway
Nothing makes sense
Nothing works
All of those good hearts I loved so hard
Turned into junkyard cars
In Mars parking lots
Friendly advice no wise person scorns
Plucked from the eyes of kidnapped newborns
They just think of everything as everything
They just think of everything, endlessly
Nothing makes sense
Nothing works
All of those people I loved so much
We lost touch in the crunch
All of those good hearts I loved so hard
Like swans turned into barges
They’re gone
They’re gone
They’re gone
Nothing works
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14. |
Standard Stuff (Bless U)
03:26
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STANDARD STUFF (BLESS U)
(Lyrics by Porter Copyright 2021)
November clouds
Feels like recess
You wait around
While I’m at the dentist
Close the door
Open the curtains
The sun comes in
Something like goodness
You’re in my name
You know my brain
You pave my way
You keep me sane
Bless you, Babe!
You go out for a jog
Don’t get abducted
When you come back
I pop like a pot lid
Cuz you’re my babe
Just like in Bailey
And just as much
We Got Out Of Bailey
You’re in my name
You know my brain
You pave my way
You keep me sane
Bless you, Babe!
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15. |
Sunday Saturday Night
02:59
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SUNDAY SATURDAY NIGHT
(Lyrics by Porter Copyright 2021)
I’m having a Sunday Saturday night
I spent all weekend saving Lois Lane
(Day of rest ‘fore I bought the champaign)
I’m like a Halloween pumpkin
I’m like a Billy Corgan
I’m a Snapple Machine
Better heady than forehead
WOO!
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16. |
Low Faith
03:56
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LOW FAITH
(Lyrics by Porter Copyright 2021)
Two hours til daylight
We’ll never wake up at the same time
Birds swim, cockroaches fly
Frenemies don’t meet each other’s eyes
I made you casserole
You made me wanna die
Charlie Brown versus Rainbow Brite
Low faith
You got so low faith
Some people are mean
Some people are nice
Some people always need
Someone else’s advice
Despite all, I’m just a dumb guy
Never looked anyone in the eye
Low faith
You got so low faith
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17. |
Millionaire Dad
02:30
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MILLIONAIRE DAD
(Lyrics by Porter Copyright 2021)
You’ve got a Millionaire dad
A big shot Millionaire dad
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18. |
Simple Soul
03:04
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SIMPLE SOUL
(Lyrics by Porter Copyright 2021)
I woke up in the gas chamber
My veins burned into my eyes
Down escalator; mass incinerator
Scared to die by surprise
I stomped the gas by accident
Blew out one of my tires
Blame it on the waiter
Put if off til later
Someday it might work right
I’m a simple soul
Tonight, tonight
I’m a simple soul
Tonight
It’s alright
I woke up in an icicle
My eyes were just like a child’s
Came an alligator
Chronic innovator
Reminded me it’s not all smiles
Tomorrow morning it’ll be the same
Flying a Lightnin’ Kite
Pancake batter
Voided brain matter
Sunlight is just too bright
I’m a simple soul
Tonight, tonight
I’m a simple soul
Tonight
It’s alright
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19. |
Patrick Porter Austin, Texas
patrick porter is a mil dollar bill. this place is filled with ghosts.
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