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A Swan At Smiley's

by Patrick Porter

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John Porcellino
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1.
White Way Rain (Wine The Rain) 03:04
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WHITE WAY RAIN (WINE THE RAIN) (Lyrics by Patrick Porter C. 2007) I wine the rain I make the stations of the cross Cross my heart With my fingernail And ripe to die I call at you Make like the mailman Bring it by Drop it off Close the door Wave goodbye Sling your bulk-bag side-wise All day long Cars drive by White way rain I wine the rain I wine the rain I wine the rain I wine the rain I wine the rain I wine the rain I wine the rain I wine the rain
2.
Wait For Another 04:18
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WAIT FOR ANOTHER (Lyrics by Patrick Porter, C. 2007) Well I bitched and cussed When I missed the 15 bus I said I'll wait for another I'll wait for another Well my waitress snapped Hurled my coffee into my lap I said I'll wait for another I'll wait for another I'll wait for another I'll wait for another I'll wait for another I stood in a line Said 'This is a waste of my time' So I stood in another I stood in another At the Labor Force I hated the job, of course I said I'll wait for another I'll wait for another I'll wait for another I'll wait for another I'll wait for another So when you say that you and I are through Remember baby, who needs you? I'll just wait for another I'll wait for another Sometimes I think my life is done I've made such a mess of this one But I'll wait for another I'll wait for another I'll wait for another I'll wait for another I'll wait for another
3.
Schopenhauer Rock 04:02
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SCHOPENHAUER ROCK (Lyrics by Patrick Porter, C. 2007) If I was a good man, I would've worked harder I would've been braver, I would've smarter I wouldn't have been violent, I wouldn't have been horny I wouldn't have been stupid, I wouldn't have been sorry If I was an angel, I would've been white sheet I would've been Ziplock, I would've been kite string I wouldn't have been drunken, I wouldn't have been sloppy I wouldn't have been deadbeat, I wouldn't have been soppy If I was a Jesus, I would've been mother, I would've been father, I would've been brother I wouldn't have been loose-leaf, I wouldn't have been fucker I wouldn't have been satan, I wouldn't have been sucker If I was a Hitler, I would've been grimmer I'd be even worse of a sinner I'd send all my pet peeves to the ovens I'd turn all the somethings into nothings If I'd have been Gandhi, I would've been boring I would've been shrugging or gently snoring I wouldn't have been Colfax, I wouldn't have been D-block I wouldn't have been Gunsmoke, I wouldn't have been The man that I am La la la, la la la, la la la, la la la HOME!
4.
Blues For AnnTeta 03:38
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BLUES FOR ANNTETA (Lyrics by Patrick Porter C. 2007) I caught a plateful of hail today I ran off in the rainstorm I'm gonna get mine, sure For punching a full moon in the face I made a blade out of her And raised a gale to slit my sails I found someone who might know Who I am-- I certainly don't I'm gonna sit here at home I'm gonna set it aflame I'm gonna set it on fire And wait for someone to save me Sit here at home I'm gonna set it aflame I'm gonna set it on fire Well I pooled all my lovers And banded them in grocery sacks What a sad laugh when I handed them to the garbage man Now I'm on my own I sleep on a couch with two pillows I set them head-to-head And pretend they're my friend (Ha ha ha) I'm gonna sit here at home I'm gonna set it aflame I'm gonna set it on fire And wait for someone to save me Sit here at home I'm gonna set it aflame I'm gonna set it on fire
5.
Sakes Alive 03:53
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SAKES ALIVE (Lyrics by Patrick Porter C. 2007) I'm standing in line It's not so bad for now Soup in a ladle A roof in the rain Sakes alive I should know better by now That nothing good comes Of disrupting a flow Well, maybe I will And maybe I won't But either/or Sakes alive! Mother said 'Keep Jesus And on your toes Cuz nothing good comes Of overflowing commodes' She was probably right And I was probably wrong Singing an old song At a new Broadway show Well, maybe I will And maybe I won't But either/or Sakes alive! I'm standing in line It's not so bad for now Soup in a ladle A roof in the rain Sakes alive I should know better by now That nothing good comes Of disrupting a flow Well, maybe I will And maybe I won't But either/or Sakes alive!
6.
Geese 02:37
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GEESE (ON THE RADAR SCREEN) (Lyrics By Patrick Porter C. 2007) There's geese On the radar screen There's a kite on fire You try to be a people-pleaser That's why you're such a liar Stop and think and consider Tell the truth and be polite I asked God to forgive me And he said 'Why should I?' Because doing onto others As you'd have them do onto you Is moot advice if you hate yourself And everybody else too There's a drug dealer in the laundromat There's a fish on a line You got your little baby pain And I got mine There's a turd in a toilet There's a bus at a stop Thanks for being in love with me It means a lot
7.
Not Very Good 02:53
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NOT VERY GOOD (Lyrics by Patrick Porter, C. 2007) Any way you slice it I'm just not very good If there's a way to fuck it up, baby I always will I try to be a good person but I don't try very hard I can stoop lower than a pigeon pecking garbage in the park Any way you cut it I'm just not very nice If there's a way to wreck the train I'll ride it off the rails with style I wrote 'REPENT' on the side of a garbage can It was the least I could do to pretend I'm a Christian man Oooh, oooh I'm not very good I'm not very good I'm not very good
8.
Ten Million Horses 04:43
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9.
Goodbye Teta 03:12
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GOODBYE TETA (Lyrics by Patrick Porter C. 2007) My girlfriend says if I Ever try to talk to you again She's gonna kill me So goodbye, Teta Buckum's punching holes into walls And writing bad poems about me I don't need that grief So goodbye, Teta We don't need no proof that we coulda been something beautiful You know, and I know, so let's leave the door safely closed Every time I go and fall in love They all piss on my parade I'd rather just stay home So goodbye, Teta If it was 10 years ago I'd hop a bus and meet you out there But you're too far off and I'm too old So goodbye, Teta We don't need no proof that we coulda been something beautiful You know, and I know, so let's leave the door safely closed Goodbye, Teta (Spain 4 5, Moniemaker)
10.
Mr. Sandbags 05:42
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MR. SANDBAGS (Lyrics by Patrick Porter C. 2007) There goes Mr. Sandbags Down the way Down the way Mr. Sandbags Doesn't feel Like he used to He feels Colder in his coat There goes Mr. Sandbags By the wayside By the wayside
11.
Ain't Got No Friends 03:53
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AIN'T GOT NO FRIENDS (Lyrics by Patrick Porter, C. 2007) The whole room goes quiet When I walk in Everyone looks worried They start whispering My reputation precedes me Like a canker sore I look around for new bridges to burn There ain't no more I ain't got no friends I sit alone on buses I talk to myself I walk back and forth to the liquor store And no where else When news is good I got no one to tell it to And when news is bad (And is usually is!) I sit alone and go 'boo hoo' Because I ain't got no friends (Huh huh huh huh, Donkey Kong!)
12.
Police 02:28
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POLICE (Lyrics by Patrick Porter C. 2007) Sitting in the basement with your sirens in my brain I've got all the time in the world to contemplate my ball and chain The police! The police! The police! If I make the slightest move they'll slap the cuffs on me There's alarm bells notched on either coast that scream: 'Ain't nothin' free!' The police! The police! The police! I'm sitting in the basement with your sirens in my brain I'm sitting in the basement with your sirens in my brain I'm sitting in the basement with your sirens in my brain
13.
5 Quarters For Saint Pedro 03:56
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FIVE QUARTERS FOR SAINT PEDRO (Lyrics By Patrick Porter C. 2007) (I'm breaking all the valuable things) There's lights on the street There are faces in the windows As far as I can see People piddlin' in the neon So have one on me And put a ring around the limbo It's the least I can do 5 quarters for Saint Pedro 5 quarters for Saint Pedro You can fly when you're poor You can float up to the middle And there's always a hope That life will someday get better But there's no hope for that tonight I wouldn't bet on tomorrow So buy a Tallboy on me, 5 quarters for Saint Pedro 5 quarters for Saint Pedro!
14.
Doritos For Breakfast 05:13
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DORITOS FOR BREAKFAST (Lyrics by Patrick Porter C. 2007) Doritos for breakfast Postcards in a mailbox Some asshole on a motorcycle A black, pregnant woman at 7-11 Buying cigars A high powered lawyer A lawnmower A guy with no legs (with NO LEGS) in a wheelchair The couple upstairs making noise A guy tries to sell me crack In front of the liquor store I don't know who I am I am the President of the United States I am a horse Anyway, who knows If the wind blows that way, let it blow I ate Doritos for breakfast today You're gone Come home You're gone Come home You're gone Come home You're gone Come home
15.
Old Souls 02:38
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OLD SOULS (Lyrics by Patrick Porter C. 2007) You're in the bedroom Watching TV I'm at the window Stubbing cigars in teacups We're old souls That's how it goes In relationship years I can't really see you But I can hear you in there We're old souls
16.
On The Yard 08:41
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Recorded in Denver, Colorado, Summer 2007.

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released September 16, 2007

All songs written, performed, and recorded by Patrick Porter, Copyright 2007, Bring Yr Own Bathos Publishing.

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Patrick Porter Austin, Texas

patrick porter is a mil dollar bill. this place is filled with ghosts.

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