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1.
Flabbergaster (Lyrics by Porter C. 2013) The winner sat alone When all the win had blown And debated like a painting On the wet sandstone The birds started to die The poems started to lie He sailed it like a sailor On a sandbox car And it’s impossible for all the eyes to see It’s impossible for all the eyes to see The winner sat alone The winner sat alone Defeated like a painting On the wet sandstone His fingers found a knob His sickness found a job They debated like the sailors On the sands and stones And it’s impossible for all the eyes to see It’s impossible for all the eyes to see
2.
To This Point Jones (Lyrics by Porter C. 2013) Hello, my name is To This Point Jones I never thought I’d make it this far Hello, my name is To This Point Jones I never thought I’d be alive so long Find yourself a reason Buy yourself a line Find yourself a lover Buy yourself some time Find yourself a kitty Buy yourself a dog Find yourself a Chevy Buy yourself a Ford Hello, my name is To This Point Jones I never thought I’d do all that I’ve done Hello, my name is To This Point Jones I’ve never grown Tie yourself a ribbon Buy yourself a tree Find yourself a peephole Buy yourself a key Find yourself a reason Buy yourself some life Find yourself a bottle Buy yourself some time Hello, my name is To This Point Jones I never thought I’d get this old Hello, my name is To This Point Jones I never thought I’d have to try so hard Find yourself some oven Find yourself a bun Buy yourself some laughter Buy yourself some fun Buy yourself a moon And treat it like a son Buy yourself a ballroom Buy yourself a gun Hello, my name is To This Point Jones I never thought I’d have to blow this cold Hello, my name is To This Point Jones I’ve never grown Find yourself a wedding Buy yourself a wife Find yourself a bottle Buy yourself some life Find yourself some laughter Buy yourself some fun Buy yourself an exit Buy yourself a gun Buy yourself a ribbon Tie yourself some tree Buy yourself some candy Give it all to me Buy yourself some bible Drink yourself some tea Find yourself a reason Buy yourself a line Find yourself a lover Buy yourself some time Find yourself a kitty Buy yourself a dog Find yourself a Chevy Buy yourself some Ford Find yourself a reason
3.
Someone’s Nervous Grandma (Lyrics by Porter C. 2013) I’m someone’s nervous grandma I’m someone’s nervous grans I’m someone’s nervous grandma And I wash the frying pans I’m someone’s nervous grandma I’m someone’s nervous grans I’m someone’s nervous grandma And I have grandma demands I’m scared of everything! I’m scared of everything! And there’s a reason why I’m scared of everything! I’m scared of everything! And there’s a reason why I’m someone’s nervous grandma I’m someone’s nervous grans I’m someone’s nervous grandma I recycle soda cans I’m someone’s nervous grandma I’m someone’s nervous grans I’m someone’s nervous grandma And I’ll slap you on your hands
4.
A Way Out 03:09
A Way Out (Lyrics by Porter C. 2013) Be nice To the guy With his eye Up his own hole I know It’s a joke But he just wants A way out A way out A way out Be nice To the girl Who’s acting All out of control I know She’s a dope But she just wants A way out A way out A way out So when I get drunk And fall Down on the ground I know I’m a clown But I just want A way out A way out A way out
5.
Non-Lawyer Paid Spokesperson (Lyrics by Porter C. 2013) You know it’s a mayday to celebrate When you’re asking for change on a debit card My faith is small and I fight it off Every step is an old woman’s scarf So give it to me Or give it to the street walking by So give it to me Or give it to the street walking by I rock so soft in my slumber Taking breaths like unwanted phone calls God knows it’s hard on me, honey God knows it’s so hard on you, more So give it to me Or give it to the street walking by So give it to me Or give it to the street walking by
6.
Leper Licker 03:29
Leper Licker (Lyrics by Porter C. 2013) Sea sky Sunday Solo ash high dry Seems like one day I’ll have mine, besides Seems like so Seems like so Seems like so Seems like so Stuffed up Sunday Like a wheel to right I hope that one day I’ll have mine, besides Seems like so Seems like so Seems like so Seems like so
7.
Song For A Hangover To Sing (Lyrics by Porter C. 2013) Sometimes it’s gonna be so hard To even know me at all Sometimes I’m gonna be so bad You won’t even see the me in me, in me Time is a chore And life is a bore And sometimes sorry Is just all there is to say So that being said Put me to bed I wonder if it’s gonna be like this Always Sometimes I’m gonna act so stupid It won’t be a laugh Sometimes I’m gonna cry so hard It won’t make a case I went to the store And I bought some more What I did yesterday I’m bound to do today And if I make a mess I’ll happily confess I wonder if I’m gonna be like this Always
8.
February 02:38
February (Lyrics by Porter C. 2013) I sent back all the smokestacks To the factory that makes them I set the rules in January But February breaks them I whistle into Dixie cups And I don’t know if I’m lying Too alive most all the time But also always dying I’ve never seen a city Go so dead before I wish it wasn’t February anymore I’ve never seen a spitting Ghost float over me I’ve never seen a spitting Ghost float over me Maybe in the morning when the sun comes up Maybe in the morning when the sun comes up The buzzer rang I thought that maybe You had come to save me But it was just another Wayward schizophrenic lady She had a bunch of wisdom But I didn’t even care Everything she had to say I was already aware I’ve never seen a city Go so dead before I wish it wasn’t February anymore I’ve never seen a spitting Ghost float over me I’ve never seen a spitting Ghost float over me Maybe in the morning when you wake up Maybe in the morning when you wake up When you wake up When you wake up
9.
Mean It To Me (Lyrics by Porter C. 2013) I scraped the truth off my tongue cuz I meant it too much Some love just makes you more lonesome The one is a knot It’s sad when the thing you want so much Is not meant to be But sometimes an eye is just enough To mean it to me Mean it to me I shape the slope of a mountain You’re a factory And I’ve broken every light bulb in This whole city It’s a drag when the love you want so much Is not meant to be But sometimes your eyes are just enough To mean it to me Mean it to me I scraped the truth off my tongue cuz I felt it too much I’m sick of being so lonesome but You can’t be touched It’s sad when the thing you want so much Is not meant to be But sometimes an eye is just enough To mean it to me
10.
Catching The Rain In A Plastic Sack (Lyrics by Porter C. 2013) I’m catching the rain Catching the rain Catching the rain In a plastic sack I don’t even know Where I can go To die or to just be Left the fuck alone So I’m catching the rain Catching the rain Catching the rain In a plastic sack Dream of a place With no human face Ask a simple question or Plead a simple case So I’m catching the rain Catching the rain Catching the rain In a plastic sack
11.
Come To The Party (Lyrics by Porter C. 2013) Come to the party Come to the party There’ll be people standing around And talking about their lives It’s a party It’s another fuckin’ party There’ll be people drinking drinks And trying to unwind Come to the party Come to the party There’ll be boys There’ll be girls Giving each other the eye Everyone wants someone Everyone wants someone But no one will meet anyone That they really like Come to the party Come to the party There’ll be people standing around And talking about their jobs and I don’t got one And I don’t fuckin’ want one And I don’t want to hear About your fuckin’ job Come to the party, yeah Come to the party It will be fuckin’ boring And you’ll go home and you’ll Want to kill yourself
12.
Oh, I Don’t Know (Lyrics by Porter C. 2013) There’s a cross on the hillside And a city below This is the loneliest place In the world There’s a room with a window That looks out on a road A road that leads nowhere But the big back and forth And it’s all sad Cuz there’s nothing that can’t Be made so Why do I keep living this life? Oh, I don’t know Sometimes at night I Pretend I am gone I shoot out a bullet With my finger and thumb Now some people tell me That that thought is wrong But they’re not the ones who Have been stuck here so long And it’s all bad Cuz there’s nothing that can’t Be made so Why do I keep living this life? Oh, I don’t know And it’s all sad Cuz there’s nothing that can’t Be made so Why do I keep living this life? Oh, I don’t know
13.
I Don’t Mind A Lonely (Lyrics by Porter C. 2013) We can walk and talk All the day long We can trade hats And hop in the halls But if you have to go home I don’t mind a lonely Well I ‘d rather Have you right here But as long as I can sit And drink my beer I’ll make due without you I don’t mind a lonely Spring-ping babe in my mind Shoot a satellite up in the sky Just promise me you’re not gonna die Or go deaf and dumb and blind It’s a day spent Laying in bed With a clamp and The Book Of The Dead But if you’ve got something to do I don’t mind a lonely We can kiss and fidget All the day long We can gather sap And sample our souls But I you’ve got something to get done I don’t mind a lonely Baby paper trail Babysit the local mail Just promise me you’re not gonna die Or go deaf and dumb and blind I don’t mind a lonely
14.
The Millionth Asshole In A Row (Lyrics by Porter C. 2013) A man Standing before me His mouth is moving Making a show He’s got his own story He’s telling me something I don’t want to know The millionth asshole in a row The millionth asshole in a row A man Making a promise He wants something from me To make it all go The millionth asshole in a row The millionth asshole in a row Deflect another pretender Taking me somewhere I don’t want to go
15.
Tuppaware 03:20
Tuppaware (Lyrics by Porter C. 2013) You’re gonna live a silly life of luxury You’re gonna live a silly life of luxury You’re cut in half, it’s obvious You’re cut in half, it’s obvious You’re gonna have a silly life like on TV She took off her pantyhose and hung them on the towel rack And watched TV and almost masturbated and then took a bath Baby baby baby baby baby buy some bric-a-brac Her soda had gone flat Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah, All right
16.
Keep On Living (Lyrics by Porter C. 2013) I’ve been everywhere that I want to go I know all the things that I want to know So why should I have to keep on living When I don’t want to? I’ve seen all the things that I came to see I’ve been everything that I want to be So why should I have to keep on living When I don’t want to? Why should I have to keep on living For you? I’ve wrung up the flags and I’ve watched the birds I’ve opened the books and I’ve seen the words So why should I have to keep on living When I don’t want to? A stand makes a man and it makes amends An eye is a lie when it just pretends So why should I have to keep on living When I don’t want to? Why should I have to keep on living For you? I’ve said everything that I want to say There aren’t any games left for me to play So why should I have to keep on living When I don’t want to? Why should I have to keep on living For you?
17.
You’re Prettier (Lyrics by Porter C. 2013) I went out walking The sky was up, the stars were out, the moon was blue Behind the clouds, above the towers, a big to-do But I’d rather look at you because You’re prettier You’re prettier The leaves were easing From the trees and in the breeze And all that fall The candles in the windows and the brick-bright wall But I didn’t care at all because You’re prettier You’re prettier Soap my stone (baby owl) You’re my soul (baby owl) Baby owl, baby owl, baby owl, baby owl! I saw all the girls walking through the city Looking old and new Looking kind of pretty like the girls can do But I’d rather look at you because You’re prettier You’re prettier I walked back home The sun was up, the stars were out, the moon was full Behind the clouds, above the towers, it all was dull I’d rather look at you because You’re prettier You’re prettier Soap my stone (baby owl) You’re my soul (baby owl) Baby owl, baby owl, baby owl, baby owl! You’re prettier You’re prettier
18.
Mostly Always Blue (Lyrics by Porter C. 2013) Baby when you leave me Do it fast, do it hard Never think about me again Just move on, and move far Cuz I’m mostly always blue And if you stay with me You will be too Baby when I’m dying Don’t look at me, just walk by Don’t remember that you ever loved me Just walk by, just walk by Cuz I’m mostly always blue And if you stay with me You will be too

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Recorded Winter thru Spring 2013, NY, U.S.A.

credits

released May 8, 2013

All sounds by Porter except lead gtr and backing vocals on tracks 9 & 12, by hand habits.

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Patrick Porter Austin, Texas

patrick porter is a mil dollar bill. this place is filled with ghosts.

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