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Bachelor Pad Blue; Bent Pants & Stray Cats

by Patrick Porter

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1.
Hello 04:17
HELLO Hello, hello, hello you indie rockers, hello I'm walking through your door I'm making myself at home I won't be sitting around alone, anymore Well hello, hello, hello everybody hello Pleased to make your acquaintance, I'm sure We could be good friends, or we could go to war Who knows what's in store? ha ha ha ha WOO! (dedication)
2.
GOING HOME ON THE TRAIN Lyrics by Patrick Porter c.2009 Sitting in a coach seat I pretended to be asleep So no one would sit with me (Going home on the train) Two ex-girlfriends in one day I'll miss you both But sometimes it's just better To stand on a train platform alone (Going home on the train) You say you have a short temper I have a short temper, too There must be something wrong with my brain (Going home on the train)
3.
BIG FROWNY FACE (Lyrics by Patrick Porter c.2009) I'm gonna kill that girl if I stay with that girl With the big, frowny face I'm gonna kill that girl if I stay with that girl With the big, frowny face I don't believe in violence I got better taste But I'm gonna kill that girl if I stay with that girl With the big, frowny face I'm gonna kill that girl if I stay with that girl With the big, frowny face I'm gonna kill that girl if I stay with that girl With the big, frowny face I'm not trying to be the boss Or to "Put her in her place" But I'm gonna kill that girl if I stay with that girl With the big frowny face
4.
Zero Hole 03:23
ZERO HOLE (Lyrics by Patrick Porter c. 2009) Sometimes I feel like I'm already a fuckin' ghost Sometimes I feel just like a zero hole Sometimes I feel like I got nowhere to go Sometimes I feel just like a zero hole Sometimes I feel like no one wants me at all Sometimes I feel just like a zero hole Sometimes I feel just like a lost soul Sometimes I feel just like a zero hole Sometimes I feel like such so-and-so Sometimes I feel just like a zero hole I got nowhere to go
5.
FEED FROM A HOLY LITE (Lyrics by Patrick Porter c.2009) It would've been great If it would've been right It would've been feed off a holy lite It would've been fine If it wouldn't've been fight It would've been feed off a holy lite Got my feet on the ground And it's cold It's cold It wouldn't've been dark If it would've been bright It would've been feed off a holy lite It would've been god If it would've been white It would've been feed off a holy lite Got my feet on the ground And it's cold It's cold
6.
(poem) by Patrick Porter c. 2009
7.
NO ONE'S EVER GONNA LOVE ME Lyrics By Patrick Porter c.2009 I'm looking at a picture That you took of me Alone and all alone Is all I'll ever be I try to be someone That someone else might need But it doesn't matter Because no one's ever gonna love me People are there for a while Then they go away Even if they were someone Who was with you everyday It does no good to ask why It's a mystery All I know is No one's ever gonna love me
8.
Tidy Peach 01:23
TIDY PEACH Lyrics by Patrick Porter c.2009 I'm a tidy peach On a piece of pie I got a taste like oh oh oh! I'll try a slice of yours You try a slice of mine I've been on my tray too long Oh hello, hi, I'm a creamy soul I don't like to wait so long I'm a tidy peach On a piece of pie How come nobody takes a bite?
9.
Fogelburg 03:49
FOGELBURG (Lyrics by Patrick Porter c.2009) It's hard to say I guess I'm just not built that way Some people make Progress while I make mistakes Turn me inside Turn me outside Turn me over and over and over It's hard to say I guess I'm just not made that way Some people work But all I wanna do is play Turn me inside Turn me outside Turn me over and over and over
10.
HARD TO KEEP MY HALO ON (Lyrics by Patrick Porter c.2009) I've been making it my fault I've been kicking wide I've been getting my wile on Like 'they call me the breeze' A parasite in a little flop I'm off on a furlong Taking leave When I got no one When I'm all alone It's hard to keep my halo on I'm out on the highway And I'm missing a light I'm screaming my head off Because the driver's drunk When I asked for directions The guy just smiled He said "I've been living the high life and I'm feeling low" When I got no one When I'm on my own It's hard to keep my halo on We are adults Out on the town Drinking and talking Doing our thing Holding our beers Just like so We are adults Dontcha know? Cheers!
11.
LIZZY TURTLE LAYLO (Lyrics by Patrick Porter c.2009) I sighed so hard I made the birds fly away Into the hardly air Like, "And lastly so" A chain biting a dog I said into the phone: "Baby" I say Lay Lo I say Lay Lo Is this my hometown Or just the end of the road In the face of all the aims? I drank a little one It just made me feel dumb I've been that way a lot lately I say Lay Lo I say Lay Lo I slept on the couch At Lizzy's house Except I couldn't sleep at all Everybody was gone And I was alone I've been that a lot lately I say Lay Lo I say Lay Lo
12.
HOLLYWOOD IS A WORD ON A WALL (Lyrics by Patrick Porter c.2009) Hollywood is a word on a wall Hollywood in the sky Hollywood is a man in a mall Hollywood is nice Holl le lay! Holl le lay! Hollywood is a word on a wall Hollywood goodbye Hollywood is a long way away Hollywood is nice Holl le lay! Holl le lay!
13.
DETROIT BEAUTY SCHOOL (Tloo-Tloo) (Lyrics by Patrick Porter c.2009) I live in a room in the Fort Shelby I go dancing alone in the Crystal Ballroom I light matches and pretend I'm a Pontiac It's always blue and silver in a landslide grave I have a job at People's Outfitting (In an aisle like that I'll mail you a sweet light) Roof caving in in the Detroit Commerce Building (Years of profitability followed by sad decline) Our lives have suffered a happier fate (Promised renovations yet to materialize) Sometimes when it rains I run and shout Tloo-Tloo! I live in a room at the Book-Cadillac You might say that I am a Medusa The third eye I had was ripped off by vandals Now I sit here hoping third time's a charm
14.
15.
TOO BUSY DIGGING A GRAVE (Lyrics by Patrick Porter c. 2009) Waiting so long I didn't know it could take so long I've been waiting around Longer than I can say Now I suppose That I could go out and see how it goes But don't you know I'm too busy digging a grave All my friends Think they're going somewhere big And they'll let you know That they're on their way But I don't know If I even want to go because Don't you know I'm too busy digging a grave Sometimes I think About the way my life could've been If I was someone else Or if somehow things were changed But it's too late For me to even speculate because As it is I'm too busy digging a grave
16.
THERE'S NO NOW (Lyrics by Patrick Porter c. 2009) There's a then There's a there There's a new day In the air But there's no No, no There's no There's no now There's a will There's a way There's a 'happened yesterday' But there's no No, no There's no There's no now There's a sun There's a moon There's a building There's a room But there's no No, no There's no There's no now There's no now! There's a way There's a why There's the ground and There's the sky But there's no No, no But there's no There's no now There's a bottle There's a can There's a happy, Happy man But there's no No, no There's no There's no now There's no now! NOW! (Ahhhh...........)
17.
DEAD COMEDIAN BEE (Lyrics by Patrick Porter c.2009) Dead comedian Left your lights on the stage So long, so long, so long Old comedian Speedball So long, so long, so long Out on the town Back of a car It packs a bite Dead comedian Glass of water So long, so long, so long Old comedian Stuck some H and some C So long, so long, so long Son of a bitch! Son of a bitch! Son of a bitch!
18.
K COUNTS HER CUPS (Lyrics by Patrick Porter c. 2009) I'm in a safe place I can go without a word all day Make my next meal A loaded gun We're spending some time Alone Unpaved county road No mail Lonely old men write letters To the newspaper I live on the moon I could be anyone Me and my notions We're spending some time Alone
19.
NATIONAL SPINSTER (Lyrics by Patrick Porter c.2009) The spinster Sits at home Reading books While other girls Go to bars And pick up men She wrote me And told me to Send her a card She loves Jesus Judas Iscari-o Betrayed his friend Oh nations Move a world Oh nations Hang on my word She's a spinster On a Friday night Reading Psalms I'm a bachelor In America Getting drunk There are people That fit together Like a cord and plug I hope someday That all of us Find love Oh nations Move a world Oh nations Hang on my word
20.
HOOLAHOOP MOON (Lyrics by Patrick Porter c.2009) Hello Hoolahoop Moon It's just Me and You I'm lonely Hello Hoopahoop Moon I just don't Know what to do I'm lonely

about

This album was recorded January-May 2009, in D.S.C. Studios, Colorado.

credits

released November 18, 2009

Patrick Porter (All instruments, vocals)

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Patrick Porter Austin, Texas

patrick porter is a mil dollar bill. this place is filled with ghosts.

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